This is amazing: The Ultimate James Bond Medley – Every song from the 25 movies including No Time To Die!

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I have a really interesting essay idea… about ideas and their execution, in this case, looking at the Star Wars prequels (which had a lot to say) vs the sequels (cash grabs that had the seeds of ideas but were never adequately explored) [I still haven’t gotten back to this idea.]

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Really a big fan of Tori Amos after that Rick Beato interview. She’s a lot like me, that connection to the muses. Plus I really feel that whole thing about people not being ready to receive a song, or whatever it is. I feel like no one is ready to receive what I have to say… And once our creations are out in the world they’re not really ours anymore, anyway.

Searching for kindness in the present… finding a way to channel the goddess energy. Some things I find myself thinking about.

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We are, each individual, a result of so many countless causes and effects that can be traced so far back to the very beginnings of life itself… We must sometimes personify forces we don’t understand, and this is only human. That in itself, creating named spirits and energies for our own understanding and relationship with them is fine. We must foster fellowship and unconditional agape. No more greed. No more avarice. The seven deadly sins are real. The virtues are helpful to combat them. But they are only as real as we allow them to be within ourselves. 

We have become obsessed with the artificial. Yet our souls still yearn for the genuine, even if we lack any clear path to finding it. Reality and the truth are often extremely inconvenient and deeply disturbing. But true evil does walk among us. It’s not [any specific individual or any given marginal group.] Their actions are only manifestations of a dying patriarchal system that’s gasping for air. True parity,  the discovery of a shared wavelength, isn’t as far off as we think. But marginalizing those who are hateful isn’t the solution. We need to heal them. I don’t know how that’s possible. But I think that it is. I’m not saying it’s going to happen. But it’s time we stop hating and shaming and look inside ourselves for what we still have to fix within each of us.

I do still carry so many biases, burdening thought patterns, grudges, regrets, and countless sins. I must discard them all. We all must. We must look ever forward, only acknowledging the darker pages of our individual stories, and those of the past and present, for the lessons they have to teach us. I must make it a habit to ask myself, what can this person teach me? I often say that I’ve learned more from people showing me what not to do. That’s sadly true. But action, productive, intentional, and progressive action, this is what we’re almost certainly lacking in knowledge about.

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When you wrap your arms around perfection, don’t ever squeeze too tightly. 

Rarely does our destiny come in the form we expect. We can’t ever expect to mold it to our liking, our imperfect vision of what we think we most desire or need to feel complete.

… I see the ugliness of the concrete jungle for what it is, but I don’t quite yet have the words to convey what that is.

Soon I will write the words that will carry a generation. But I will not plan them that way.

So many thought streams crisscrossed inside my skull today…

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I was raised that forgiveness is paramount… I’m not incapable of forgiveness, just for people that came in this house and disrespected our home on multiple occasions. I just want to emphasize this is not hate. This is a choice that I’ve made to protect others from my wrath, which is substantial. But after the hell I’ve lived through, I think having this character flaw of being picky with who I associate with is valid.

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One weird thing about me is that I have this odd mechanism where if I put three fingertips together. It doesn’t matter which ones. I can literally make myself mute. It’s bizarre. I don’t know how or why I can do that, but otherwise I run on with my mouth forever. It’s funny because from what I understand it was thought I’d turn out either nonverbal or unable to speak properly.  I didn’t quite talk correctly when I was younger. I mean I am neurodivergent, after all, so it just took me a while to learn how to speak properly. [Although I still constantly repeat myself and say a lot of things multiple times in the same conversation. And state the obvious and ask questions entirely devoid of any attachment to reality… but I digress.]