I think even the most devoted Swifities knew that one day Taylor Swift was going to put out an album that truly tested her fandom. But never did I want to have some very strong negative feelings about one of her records, and worst yet, critics and fans alike have already voiced almost my exact thoughts about this album.

No one realistically expected The Life of a Showgirl to be a masterpiece like Folklore or Midnights. It wasn’t realistic for her twelfth album to be a lyrical motherlode like The Tortured Poets Department, itself a polarizing entry among fans and critics alike. While I feel like that’s truly her best album for sheer creative output, even I was happy for Taylor to release a record that was lighter and happier. But when I witnessed just how cocky she was about this apparently being her best record yet, my expectations were greatly tempered.

If I go track by track, I assure you that I’m going to go from barely positive about this album to significantly negative. I don’t even think anyone can disagree with how I categorize these twelve songs. 

Good: “The Fate of Ophelia,” “Elizabeth Taylor,” “Opalite,” “Eldest Daughter”

These four tracks may not rise to the level of Midnights or even Reputation, but they’re solid pop songs. Of the four only Eldest Daughter is truly a standout.

Mid: “Wood” and “Honey” 

These two tracks are fine. But they feel much too generic for me to praise.

Polarizing: “Wi$h Li$t” and “CANCELLED!” 

I actually kind of like these, but in a guilty pleasure sort of way. A lot of people don’t care for them. 

Cringeworthy: “Father Figure,” “Actually Romantic,” and “Ruin the Friendship”

These may be three of the worst songs Taylor Swift has ever released and a lot of people agree on these three being the worst on the album.

The Collab and Title Track: “Life of a Showgirl”

Lyrically clunky in places and Sabrina’s vocals steal the show. I don’t hate it but this song feels rushed, like it needed a bit more time in the oven.

The only other positive I have is the production: Max Martin and Shellback made this album good sonically, at least. But Reputation Part Two this is not. There aren’t any coast cut bangers. If I’m being generous, I’d rate this record a three out of five stars. That’s the best I can give it.

What this album feels like to me is a try-hard effort, a sort of concept album that falls flat on its face in a few places. To me, this feels like a Broadway musical soundtrack with none of the context to make any sense of what’s going on here. It leans towards soulless, corporate pop and this is exactly what I feared going into this era. 

I have more to say, but I think I’ve said what my early impressions are. Most of my takes seem to be fairly consistent with the crowd at the moment. Let’s just hope there’s more of a plan behind the madness and the music videos provide some context. Unfortunately, like many past pop idols who have gone in a more Broadway direction, this feels like a step in the wrong direction.