The documentarian nature of my writing of the past few years, an intentional practice I started in order to reorganize my entire process around the mundane facts of my second, perhaps third, chance at life, has begun to bear fruit. I still don’t see the big picture but I was nudged yet again by the universe.

[I need] to continue pursuing new vibrations. Ones that aren’t AI generated. I continue to iterate. Reorganize and reevaluate. Finally I’ve stopped spinning my wheels. I am making progress. Not sure towards what. But there is finally momentum once again, the inertia is lifting. The pace has slowed. But quietly and steadily the economy of my thoughts is finally finding a way forward, even if the market has not quite yet emerged. I have a lot of unpopular things to say and the real challenge is in figuring out how to say them…without causing unnecessary friction, and yet some friction is necessary. Another paradox, one of countless problems I’ve been trying to resolve by invoking the square root of infinity. 

The probabilistic nature of everything means that I’m never going to find the perfect equation to define anything, but hopefully, I’ll come close enough to make people remember we’re all spinning round really fast on this little celestial rock, altogether. And if we stop suddenly, a lot of things are gonna go flying and a big mess will result. A vast understatement actually. People will learn physics the hard way. By being turned into a sort of paste… but I’m getting ahead of myself. The world isn’t going to just throw the brakes on… the inevitable entropy of all these broken systems will suffice to be the wake up call for the next generation of leaders who are only now coming into their own realization that if no one else is going to offer their fecal matter to the general welfare, then they better start bagging and selling their own. 

I must give myself some quiet time to ponder, something I do while pacing and I need to get back to capturing these racing thoughts by voice, even if they are a murderous proposition to properly edit.

I’ve always said that you are only as good as the people you keep around you. You can have all the talent in the world and throw it away by being complacent. Then you can have someone who’s very talented become a superstar on the strength of her personality, drawing in legendary figures to play alongside her. And she soaks it all in with an aura like none I’ve ever seen…

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This is a heartbreaking, absolutely gorgeous performance:

Also from my new favorite singer:

I knew Sabrina was in this movie, but I’ve never heard these songs. I like this one a lot: 

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It’s 2pm and this dropped an hour ago…

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Yes, classical is metal.

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I found the funniest SNL monologue ever… yeah, her again… 

And Zane Lowe talks to this really pretty singer:

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This is amazing, girl is a prodigy:

(Spoiler: It’s actually not Olivia this time lol)

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You gotta set the bar high… the correct mindset is instead to build yourself up to be someone who is worthy of someone like that’s time and energy. I thought I’d done that but the timing has just never been right. Now I can move past all the failures of connection and give myself a break. And build myself up to being ready when the time is right, no matter who comes calling. That isn’t a wrong number.